?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Screaming Inside's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Screaming Inside

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[01 Sep 2004|08:25pm]

hidden_heaven
... I hate myself.

I hate when I do this, hate when I feel everything just stacking up and stacking up and I'm screaming inside and there's no one to listen...

I cut again today. After such a good record, too, it's like I went crazy. I dragged a pair of scissors across my legs, over and over and over.

Worst part is... I don't even feel any better any more when I do it. I just feel sort of shaky and like I want to get sick.
Scream at last

Hello....=) [20 Aug 2004|10:33am]

beautiful_skin
[ mood | mellow ]

Hi, I'm new to LJ and obviously to this community. :)

1] What's your name? Anna
2] How old are you? 15
3] How long have you been SI-ing? For about...um...2 or 3 years. I've been si.ing since age 3, but I knew what it was at age 12 or 13.
4] How do you SI? Bruising, scratching, cutting, I use dull objects more than sharp ones. Like safety pins and stuff...not necessarily dull, but smaller. Easier to carry around, and quicker...plus I can cut 50 times and still count it as one.
5] How do people perceive you? Would they ever suspect you of SI-ing? Perfect, innocent, little girl. Happy and alive. All for God. No, they would NEVER suspect it of me.
6] Do you ever write about your experiences? Yes.
7] Do you think you might have some sort of disorder leading you to SI? Perhaps.
8] Do you know what it is? Not really.
9] Why do you cut? To punish myself for bad things. To release the anger. To get my mind off the emotional pain I feel. Because it has become an addiction.
10] What do you think about when you cut? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes past friends, how stupid I am, etc.

2 comments|Scream at last

new [08 Jul 2004|04:43am]

outofcontext11
[ mood | i am the living dead... ]

...I'm so lost. I'm barely here. I wish I could explain myself. The words ecsape me...Collapse )

1 comment|Scream at last

[25 Jun 2004|10:28pm]

dyingstarsfall
Hey, i'm Hilary, the other moderator here. Like many, I self harm. This is a problem I have been faced with for a long time. I wanted to make this Live Journal Community with my friend Brittany because I feel talking about s.h, and talking with others faced with the same issues as me can act as a healing power, and let me know i'm not alone. If you ever want to contact me and i'm not on lj, I have AIM, my s/n on there is DyingStarsFall. So please, if you ever want to talk im me on there.

1] What's your name? Hilary
2] How old are you? 16
3] How long have you been SI-ing? For about 3 years now, since 8th grade
4] How do you SI? I use razors and Knifes
5] How do people perceive you?Would they ever suspect you of SI-ing? Now they do, since everyone knows I have gone to treatment for it, but other than that and my scars, no
6] Do you ever write about your experiences? Yes, in my secret journl hidded in my room
7] Do you think you might have some sort of disorder leading you to SI? Yes
8] Do you know what it is? Yes, Depression, broken-heart syndrome(sp)
9] Why do you cut? To watch myself bleed, I look at it as a way to let my emotions and hurt feelings "Bleed away" and leave my body forever, but they always come back
10] What do you think about when you cut? I think about my EX boyfriend, and how much he hurt me, and whatever I am cutting about...like my parents or w/e...or sometimes I just do it to do it, nod think about nothing.
Scream at last

it's just me [25 Jun 2004|05:31pm]

aloneinthedark9
1] What's your name? Russell
2] How old are you? 15
3] How long have you been SI-ing? About a year and a half ago
4] How do you SI? I burn and occasionally cut. I usually just use a lighter and occasionally heat a knife and either burn or cut with it.
5] How do people perceive you? Would they ever suspect you of SI-ing? It is the last thing they think i would do, until they accidently see them.
6] Do you ever write about your experiences? Occasionaly i write poety or short stories.
7] Do you think you might have some sort of disorder leading you to SI? I donno...i guess...ya
8] Do you know what it is? OCD or depression
9] Why do you cut/burn? The high and release of all the other stresses and pain in my life.
10] What do you think about when you cut? Nothing...it helps the thinking to stop.

p.s.I hate those damn "avril bitches" too
1 comment|Scream at last

[24 Jun 2004|07:41pm]

hidden_heaven
Hello, I am one of the two moderators here. My name is Brittany. I am one of the many that is screaming inside. You know, the ones that seem all hyper and happy and stuff when they're around other people... but on the inside, beneath the hyperness, is someone who is more miserable than any of those surrounding them can imagine.

So, now for a random introductory survey.

1] What's your name? Brittany
2] How old are you? 15
3] How long have you been SI-ing? I started SI-ing almost two years ago, but I stopped for a while and when it came back it was more aggressive... I'm trying to recover now, but it's a tough battle to fight...
4] How do you SI? I usually do it with a sewing needle until I bleed, although I've also used a razor, my nails, and the right side of a pen.
5] How do people perceive you? Would they ever suspect you of SI-ing? Good Heavens, no. They all think I'm all peachy-keen.
6] Do you ever write about your experiences? Poetry and a few short stories. I've got a poem called Razor, Razor, and a story called It Didn't Matter on my FictionPress account.
7] Do you think you might have some sort of disorder leading you to SI? Yep.
8] Do you know what it is? Probably schizophrenia or depression. Maybe OCD.
9] Why do you cut? To relieve numbness, false pain, to see the blood, I like the endorphin high
10] What do you think about when you cut? I don't. I just run it, over and over, pressing it in.
Scream at last

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]